Post by Zanreo on Feb 24, 2015 0:15:17 GMT
Zanreo: *grins* Finally... My plan is complete.
The young woman clasped her hands together, her glasses giving off an opaque white glow like usual. Then she slouched back in her swivel chair, and spun around a bit.
Zanreo: Whee! I just never get sick of this.
She was sitting in her basement, which was no longer a basement as much as it was a small shop with fully-stocked shelves. The items were all kinds of different objects: food, instruments, games, guns, furniture, but they all had one thing in common. They all contained at least one high-powered laser beam. What was previously a regular door was now an automatic sliding door. On the outside, above the door, she had put up a big sign with "WHOOPSHOOP LAZERS: FOR ALL YOUR LASER NEEDS." She had preferred some kind of laser-related pun, but it was the best she could come up with on such short notice.
Zanreo: The world will soon know the amazingness of lasers. How can I NOT share this with the world? Now, let me just overview my commercial once more... *clicks "Play" at a video at her computer screen*
Quote:
Overly Excited, Energetic Commercial Voice: Hello there! Have you ever felt a lack of lasers in your life lately? Could you use some more excitement?
Well, we've got what you need! You don't have to live a boring, laser-free life anymore, just come down to Whoopshoop Lazers, for all your laser needs!
Whoopshoop Lazers is dedicated to bringing you only the highest-quality lasers and laser-related products! When it comes to lasers, we aim to provide the best in both quality AND quantity! Lasers have many practical uses, they make useful tools for a lot of things, can be useful for self-defense should it ever be needed, and most importantly, they're dang awesome!
*laser beams are heard in the background*
Our products include but are not limited to:
Lasers
Double lasers
Laser pointers
Laser guns
Laser swords
Laser lasers
Laser food (do not eat)
Laser clothes
Laser books
And much, much more! If it has "laser" in front of it, we probably have it! Zap all your troubles away with WHOOPSHOOP LAZERS!
*more laser beam sounds*
*disclaimer: Whoopshoop Lazers takes no responsibility for any damage caused by any of our products*
Zanreo: Perfect. Now to put this up everywhere... wait, what do you MEAN I have to PAY to get this up on TV? Can't believe those greedy bastards... I already used enough money on developing all these laser products, and I 'd better make my money back for that. Let's try the internet instead.
*She puts the video up on several video sites. Shortly afterwards, a doorbell sounds plays as the automatic doors slide open.*
Zanreo: Someone's here... My first customer already. I knew this would be a success...
She quickly straightens her tie and adjusts her glasses before going over to greet the person who entered.
Zanreo: Gotta give off a good first impression...
The young woman clasped her hands together, her glasses giving off an opaque white glow like usual. Then she slouched back in her swivel chair, and spun around a bit.
Zanreo: Whee! I just never get sick of this.
She was sitting in her basement, which was no longer a basement as much as it was a small shop with fully-stocked shelves. The items were all kinds of different objects: food, instruments, games, guns, furniture, but they all had one thing in common. They all contained at least one high-powered laser beam. What was previously a regular door was now an automatic sliding door. On the outside, above the door, she had put up a big sign with "WHOOPSHOOP LAZERS: FOR ALL YOUR LASER NEEDS." She had preferred some kind of laser-related pun, but it was the best she could come up with on such short notice.
Zanreo: The world will soon know the amazingness of lasers. How can I NOT share this with the world? Now, let me just overview my commercial once more... *clicks "Play" at a video at her computer screen*
Quote:
Overly Excited, Energetic Commercial Voice: Hello there! Have you ever felt a lack of lasers in your life lately? Could you use some more excitement?
Well, we've got what you need! You don't have to live a boring, laser-free life anymore, just come down to Whoopshoop Lazers, for all your laser needs!
Whoopshoop Lazers is dedicated to bringing you only the highest-quality lasers and laser-related products! When it comes to lasers, we aim to provide the best in both quality AND quantity! Lasers have many practical uses, they make useful tools for a lot of things, can be useful for self-defense should it ever be needed, and most importantly, they're dang awesome!
*laser beams are heard in the background*
Our products include but are not limited to:
Lasers
Double lasers
Laser pointers
Laser guns
Laser swords
Laser lasers
Laser food (do not eat)
Laser clothes
Laser books
And much, much more! If it has "laser" in front of it, we probably have it! Zap all your troubles away with WHOOPSHOOP LAZERS!
*more laser beam sounds*
*disclaimer: Whoopshoop Lazers takes no responsibility for any damage caused by any of our products*
Zanreo: Perfect. Now to put this up everywhere... wait, what do you MEAN I have to PAY to get this up on TV? Can't believe those greedy bastards... I already used enough money on developing all these laser products, and I 'd better make my money back for that. Let's try the internet instead.
*She puts the video up on several video sites. Shortly afterwards, a doorbell sounds plays as the automatic doors slide open.*
Zanreo: Someone's here... My first customer already. I knew this would be a success...
She quickly straightens her tie and adjusts her glasses before going over to greet the person who entered.
Zanreo: Gotta give off a good first impression...